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2010 just gets better and better.

Who ever laughed at this - You are all assholes.. because guess what? It's not FUNNY.

This person is extremely intelligent and right for the job so GET THE FUCK OVER IT. And for all you "dudes" that think it's gross to sleep with a transwoman - fuck you. It doesn't fucken make you gay so grown up.

Now that that's been said, 2010 is off to an awesome start for me:

I had my consultation with Dr. Mark Zukowski this morning about my chest. He told me my best option is the double mastectomy with nipple tattoos. He told me with all that including a week stay in their facility it would cost 8k. If i stay with Candi it would probably cost less.

I really want to do this for June or July or early August. I Hope I can pull it off!

I am working on my first real OM manual on an ozone facility this year!!! Kathy Bill from the OM dept has left Black & Veatch and with that ... I am now probably on the top of the list to replace her.. yay! I hope it happens. I will be going to Wylie TX in 2012 to start up the facility and train the operators! Yay!

I have a date on Sat with who seems to be a really sweet person named Tara. She's kind of more on the butchy side but IDs as andro so I hope I like her.. so far I enjoy her personality.. :)

I've been on T for over 2 months and my voice has def. deepened, I have a lot more body hair.. and I actually can see something like side burns.... I think Dr. Farrell may be right.. I may be intersexed after all since I'm taking so well to it.

Other than that.. just getting back into the habit of working a full week.. it's rough.


I took pictures of my boobs.. ick... to send to Dr. Zukowski in Chi town (http://www.mlzukowski.com/index.htm).

They can do over the phone consultations! Very exciting for me. I hope his price isn't more than 6K. Ideal like 4-5 k but since he's like one of the best... it will probably be like 6-7K but at least I would have Candi and Stacey to take care of me!

I think if the price is right and I can get an appointment in like June or so... or even sooner since work is slow.. I will probably go for it. I will probably have it done after I teach my Water C class unforunately so like in July most likely.
Plus the extra money I will be making a week through HCC will probably help.

I got the most awesome phone call and hopefully I may get the job of my dreams!!!

Neil from KC process called me and told me he recommmedned to Gary that be placed into the OM group. Apparently they lost a person from his group - leaving an opening. I am hoping that I am placed into their group! I would even be willing to take a pay cut. so yeah! There is hope yet.

This has given me new motivation to get my Water C license ASAP!! Yay!

Happy New Year !

Where did 2009 go? I guess the same place as the following years.. in the past.. but not totally forgotten. These are the major events in my life - good and bad... or indifferent... Ari highlights!

-Candi moved to IL - Feb
-I met an awesome Friend, Christina - March
-Jenna and I broke up and stopped talking- June
-Added "Ari" to his business cards - July
-I went to Chicago for the first time - Sept
-Jenna contacted me again - Sept
-JEnna and I kind of got back togther - Sept-Oct
-I was rejected by 3 women - Emilie, Rebecca, and Jenna - June - Oct.
-I was elected as the Statewide MWTC Coordinator - Aug
-Took my wastewater C class - Oct
-Taught my first Distribution Operator Licensing Course in Cooper City - Oct.
- I went to my first WEFTECH - Oct
-I came out as Trans to two people I worked with - Emilie and Christina - Oct.
-Was offered to teach the Water C Class at HCC - Nov.
-I started T (Nov 2 2009)
-I was elected as the Vice Chair of Region IV - Nov
-I kicked off MWTC for the state - Aug -Nov.
-Jenna and I stopped talking - Nov
-I was awarded the FSAWWA Young Professional of the Year award as well as the PAC award (Dec 2rd)
-I passed my wastewater C test (Dec 19th)
-I spent my second xmas away from CT - Dec 25

And now here I sit.. after a full year of life... become closer to who I really am inside...who ever that is.

I hope 2010 is even better. I know I make new resolutions all the time and don't keep them
but I have decided that these are the resolutions I will be keeping this year:

- I will change my name to Ari and insist others call me Ari. I already have written to HR and told them to change my name in the global address book.

- I will get chest surgery - no matter what. I will be doing it either here in Tampa or in Chicago.

- I will start lifting weights more often and work towards a healthier me.

- Find a O&M focused job - ideally in Utility management.

That's about it folks... have a safe and happy new year! :)


It's me again...

I started T about a month or so ago and still no major changes. My voice is somewhat deeper but other then that.. nothing really major to report!

Other Major updates...

I won the FSAWWA YP of the year award on Dec 3rd at the FSAWWA Annual Conference. I also won the PAC award again this year as well.

I dropped it (hence the scratch) due to shock because I couldn't believe I won.

My mom actually has Facebook now - actually for about 1 year now. I made her account when I visited for xmas last year.

She wrote me this message when I posted a picture of my award on Facebook -

"Congratulations....Your dad would be so proud....I am too
love ya"

I wish my dad was still alive especially now since I really need a more of a male role model in my life at this moment. I often wonder if my father would be proud of me.. especially knowing that I'm trans.

I would like to think he would love me anyways and consider to me to be more like his son vs. his daughter.. but I'll never know.. and that's a pretty hard thing for me to accept most of the time.

I just wish I could remember him telling me that he loved me. Like actually hearing his voice say it. Perhaps one day I will remember.

Other less important news.....

MWTC 09 is over for the year.. thank god. Over 140 tower s were built this year ... and it was a lot of fun. I heart seeing all the middle school kids having a good time but I got sick of every weekend being MWTC weekend!

that's about it.

3 weeks on T

It's been about three weeks since I started T.

Noticeable changes:

More hair
More sensitivity in a certain place
More Energy and waking up earlier in the morning
Sleeping better
Slightly more acne.
Some minor weight loss/redistribution of weight
voice is somewhat deeper but not overly. It's more difficult to speak at my normal tone.

I decided to take a 1/2 CC every other week making my third T shot due on Dec 1st.

I see Dr. Farrell this Sat at 1 pm and I'm sure she's going to be asking me a ton of things.

Besides T - MWTC is in full force. My contest went really well 38 towers about half of what we had last year but much more manageable.

I was in Miami this past weekend helping Region VII with their contest. It went super well - they had 8 towers and tons of volunteers!

I also helped out with Region III's contest in Orlando - they had 4 towers and it was so much fun.

I was nominated for the Young Professional of the Year Award for FSAWWA and I think I won. Helen (VP of our office) told me I have to go to the awards lunch at the conference so I must have won something. The conf. starts the Sunday after thanksgiving until that following Wed so I will be in Orlando that whole time staffing the MWTC booth and attending meetings and such.

The last MWTC is Dec 5 in Gainesville in Region XI. One of my personal favs.

Other then that.. nothing major. Work, MWTC, work repeat!

I will be having top surgery in the next few months as soon as I find the person I want to work on my chest.

Oh I order a binder... that will hopefully be more comfy and fitting so my boobs won't show as much. It was only 30 bucks! yay!

I will try to update more often.


It's been awhile and a lot has happened. Some I will share.. most I won't. All I can say is .. I'm not dating another woman for a very long time.. if ever.

I decided to start taking testosterone. I got my first vial of Testosterone yesterday.

I haven't decided how much I'm going to take... I.e. a full CC every other week like most transguys or more like half a CC every other week or once a month even.

My goal is to stop my monthly period and help me gain some muscle mass easier.

I'm kind of nervous about it.. I mean I could easily just tell work I have a serious hormonal imbalance that I can't help which is partly true. I don't know.

I got a second opinion on my breast reduction and he is actually going to submit on my insurance. My primary care Dr wants me to get a third opinion because she thinks I need to find someone more understanding about my situation i.e. someone willing to fight for me and take out as much breast tissue as possible. I also have to see a chiropractor and Dr. Farrell is writing me a letter.

I just hope I can get my insurance to cover it.. even if it takes a few years and me having to go to Dr after Dr. to get letters etc. I'm going to make my insurance pay for it.

I finished my Wastewater C class - I passed! I got 90 % so odds are I will pass the state exam. I filled out my paper work to take the test today. Hopefully I will sit for the test in Dec. Hopefully someone will let me work in a Wastewater treatment plant so far no luck! even to work for free is a pain because I work for an Engineering firm and a lot of places see that as a conflict of interests. Fucken stupid.

I can't wait until the economy comes back so I can move out of FL. I love so many people here but I hate the state overall. I Just have so many people connections here so it's hard to leave.

other then that, MWTC for the rest of the year. I'm so glad this will be my last year chairing the contest.

Other then that, life goes on.

Rejection yet again!

I asked Emilie out.. and she told me no. She said she just wanted to be friends. I didn't really take it hard right then and there... but I did once I got to my car. We are still going to be friends i guess... I just don't care.

I'm going to look at houses on Tues. Should be interesting. I like these two the most right now. One looks like it needs a new roof.. but it's in Kenwood which is the LGBTI section of St. Pete so close to downtown and all that... it's 100K... the other is like a minute down the street from my apt.. and it seems pretty nice. that one is 80K and I can probably get them to drop to 70K or something.

I went to FSAWWA baseball game last night and it was awesome! I most likely will be Vice Chair because Tory wants Chair.. fucken sucks.. but he has more time on the board then I Do so... whatever. I haven't decided if I will take the role or not yet. I may still run against Tory for the job.

I will be in IL in two weeks for my best friend's wedding. I can't wait since I haven't seen her since Feb. I finally get to go to Chicago! Yay!!!

Other then that, just another week of work to look forward to.

My Wastewater midterm is Wed so some of tonite, tomorrow and tues will be dedicated to studying for that... fun fun.

My second option appointment for a breast reduction is Aug 26 with Dr. Noel Tereburm or something in Palm Harbor. The lady on the phone told me it was very hard to get this covered by insurance... and they like to see 3 or more years of continuous treatment for back problems.. so they probably won't be getting it covered because insurance is truly evil. I'm just going to go to see if there is anything he can do for me. If he can't help me, then I'm screwed basically because I'm not paying for a medically necessary surgery... I'm just going to start going to a back dr. and get the history I need to fuck the insurance company over... even if it takes 3 years.

Lissette will be here on TH ( I think... she told me she had issues with her CO flight so).

That's about it.


I got approved for a mortgage today up to $130,000.

I think that's kind of exciting. Not sure if i will actually buy something but it's nice.

At any rate... that's it.

Class tomorrow!

Not giving up without a fight

i called my primary care physicians office again to get another insurance authorization form to get a second opinion about my medicinally necessary breast reduction surgery. I'm hoping that the next person they send me to is going to be able to help me.

I'm def. not going to take one plastic surgeon's opinion especially since I want the surgery so badly. I'm just hoping the next person I see is going to be able to help me out. I really want to have it in Dec... that would be so amazing for me.

I booked my flight to Milwaukee today. Candi and Stacey are getting married on Sept 6th. I will be the MC for their wedding which I think is a huge honor. I have no idea what I am going to say but I'm sure I will think of something. Marriage is kind of an iffy topic with me... I really hate weddings.. partly because I Know I Will never have one and I think they just feel kind of isolated from normal society. I just can't wait to see them. It will be very exciting. Candi is going to take me to Chicago!!! I have never been but I heard it's nice.

I called a mortgage broker today. I was actually scared to do it. I just want to see if in theory I could afford to buy a house right now.

Other then that.. just been working and trying to stay positive.

My wastewater Midterm is on Aug 19th. I ordered a AWWA Pre book so I should do OK On the midterm and the test. Still not sure if I will be teaching the Water C class at HCC in Feb or not but I will be teaching 2 classes for the distribution System Licensing certification in Oct and Nov so I'm pretty excited about that. I have a 95% average in WW C Clsas thus far. I think once the class ends in Oct - I am going to take the test ASAP and get my hours.

Nothing new on the girl front. I see Emilie off and on.. text and talk to her off and on. She finally emailed me for dinner like 2 weeks ago so that was nice.... I think she's still hung up on her ex gf.. and if that's the cause I don't want much to do with her. I do really like her as a person. I will see her at our Pinellas County MWTC Meeting on Aug 21! So excited... it's our first audience with Pinellas... and I Hope to get them engaged in the contest. As of Nov. Emilie will be taking my Region IV MWTC position in hopes I am elected as Region IV Chair for the next 2 years.

OH ... Major announcement! My good friend Tod Phinney - engineer with Manatee County - found a new job and is moving to New Mexico. I will miss him so much. Tod and I became friends when I was working in Sarasota. He created the Model Water Tower contest and was the State MWTC coordinator under PAC. he resigned his position and told the ex. board to nominate me for the position so now I am leading the MWTC expansion across the state of FL! Huge Honor and responsibility.

Tod wrote this email to the Ex. Board and to most of the members of PAC on Mon:

"FYI to all:

I have accepted a new job out of state. Thus, effective immediately, I hereby nominate Rachel Copeland to take over my position on the Public Affairs Council (PAC), which has been as the Florida Section Coordinator for the Model Water Tower Competition (MWTC). As many of you already know, Rachel is a terrific person, and a superstar with our youth education outreach efforts! Thus, I know for certain she has a passion for this initiative and will lead it to even greater success.

Thank you, Rachel, for volunteering to take on this assignment. As you know, it is near and dear to me and I'm happy to leave it in such good hands.

It has been my pleasure to serve FSAWWA and the water profession with my fellow colleagues. I will miss you and I wish you all the best in your careers and in life!

The mission:

"From today's youth come tomorrow's leaders - let's lead some to the water profession."

Tod L. Phinney, P.E."

I thought that was really nice of him to say. I def. will miss him and his family but I know he will enjoy his new position with WH Pacific.

Lissette, this chick in CT i met in a chat room 2 years ago and I've met in person twice, is coming to visit me for 4 days starting on the 20th. I have missed her and I can't wait to see her! I would be lying if i said I'm not attracted to her but I know we are just friends.. and I am just grateful to have at least 1 friend from CT that wants to see me!

My mom and bob is coming on Sept 17th for a short vacation and to see me for my B day since I won't be in CT for xmas this year. I feel bad.. but its expensive and my last xmas was just so awful due to family drama. Espeically now since my sister Lisa isn't talking to my mom....

Long story short, my mom looked into my sisters medical records because she was worried about my sister. Apparently my Sister can't have kids - no idea why or how and has been getting IVF to try to have a child. I guess it worked once but she lost the baby and didn't tell anyone this was going on. My mom was really worried about her because she knew something was wrong with her. My mom's intentions were good but still not the best way to find out...
My sister found out and flipped out because she didn't want anyone to know and hasn't spoken to my mom in like 11 weeks. I feel really bad for my sister, I really do.. but not to even tell your own mom what's going on.. I think is kind of screwed up.

Granted my mom wasn't the best mom ever - she raised all three of us alone.. and I can't imagine what that is like.. I really can't and I really deeply respect my mom for that. I'm not emotionally close to my mom but I still love her and just accept it. I Don't get why my sisters just can't get over it. no one is prefect... we all make mistakes .. life is too short.. especially is someone is just trying to help you and has good intentions. Anyways it's the never ending drama between Lisa and my mom and something I Just wish I was left out of completely.

I am so sleepy but I can't sleep. I'm not sure if it's because of loneliness or stress... or both. I can't really ever seem to get my brain to turn off anymore. Insomnia has been my enemy for years.... but it is worse then ever now. Even though Jenna drove me completely crazy 99% of the time, at least I slept at night because of her.

I am going to a Tampa Out Work Equality meeting tomorrow in hopes to meet some cool LGBT folks in the local Tampa area... hopefully I will make some friends.. even if they are older then me. It's always good to have queer friends.

at any rate, I should TRY to sleep. Until we meet again. Ari over and out.

More disappointment

I went to my breast reduction appointment on Monday and Dr. Elias basically told me I wasn't large enough for insurance to cover it.

Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed. I will probably try to get a second opinion.. but if that doesn't pan out - then I will probably just go to Dr. Greenwald and pay for the surgery some how. Sucks but whatever.

Good news - I got a 96% on my wastewater test and a 100% on the homework assignment. I basically have the highest grade in the class. I will be going to Haines City Wastewater Treatment plant tomorrow for a Tour... and then to my friends BB game tomorrow. Sunday I will probably study or something.

I so totally want to see Paper Heart - it sounds like an awesome movie.. and it comes out on Aug 7th.. I just pray it is playing in Tampa or St. Pete!

At any rate, life goes on....!

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October 2013


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